Coat made of Human Chest Hair is the worst thing of the day -
One million strands of (gag) chest hairs (double-gag) used to create gag-inducing gag-coat.
Never mind that nice summer coat you’ve been coveting. How about a coat made from chest hair? Mmmmm . . . imagine running your hands down that bad boy. Nice. Until you have to run away and barf.
Also: it looks like something that was never washed after a huge dog slept on it for 10 years. The coat/jacket/abomination can be yours for $3,900.
According to Oddity Central, it took “English designers” (who I’m guessing aren’t eager to have their names known) some 200 hours to weave one million chest hairs together. All for the sake of jokey (but-is-it-really?) advertising.
The Daily Mail says the garment was commissioned “by (chocolate) milk drink for men, Wing-Co, as a protest against the widespread ‘manning-down’ of British men, typified by clean-shaven chests and emasculating fashion.”
I know, I know, I know. You all miss the days when men didn’t get hassled by the femi-nazis about being blustering bleep-holes and demanding pork chops for dinner every night. Those were the extra-good times. Except, of course, for everyone else.
Weirdly, there’s no information on who exactly had to shave their chests and, presumably, emasculate themselves to contribute to this Yeti disgrace. Is there somewhere, on a British field, hundreds of shivering, formerly manly men, huddling together to shield themselves from the cold while pinching their waxed chests, shouting, “Why did you take my masculinity? Why?”
Oddity quotes a spokesperson (let’s hope it’s a man’s man manly man-like man-man) as saying, “We commissioned the Man-Fur Coat as a wake-up call for the nation’s gents. A way to encourage them to readopt the values of assured ‘men’s men’ from yesteryear who would laugh nonchalantly in the face of adversity and be proud of their abundant manliness.”
That may be hilarious marketing (spoiler alert: it’s not), but what it makes me think of is a big, cold glass of chocolate milk. Packed to the brim with hair. Must run now . . .
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